toast annoys me so much cos like it’s bread that’s been toasted so we call it “toast” but if you fry a potato it’s not called a “fry”
do you ever look back at your mistakes
OMG I’M LAUGHING SO HARD MY SISTER WAS WATCHING CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN AND FUCKING JARED PADALECKI WAS ON IT AND IN BETWEEN MY TEARS I SAW HIM MAKE THIS FACE
AND I LAUGHED EVEN HARDER BECAUSE I REALIZED HE’S MAKING THE SAME FACE AND GESTURES AS NINE
HANG ON I FIXED IT
a very confused 9 for your dash
You can see he’s thinking, “WHAT THE FUCK?! IT’S THE SAME SIZE ON THE INSIDE!!”
when my mom was pregnant she would put a walkman up to her stomach and play cher’s greatest hits and she apologizes for it every day because she thinks that’s what made me gay
this is still the best thing on the internet
PEOPLE WHO THINK YOUR GRADES REFLECT YOUR INTELLIGENCE
how many murderers do you think you’ve walked past
I don’t know how many I’ve walked past but I’m almost positive I’ve scrolled past like 10
This was a life changing revelation for me.
is this real life
is this just fantasy
The product of British private schooling is razor sharp wit.